The way is shut

First day of school today. We rolled out right on time, no issues. When we got to the first intersection where there should be a crossing guard, there was no crossing guard. I thought this was strange, but chalked it up to the power outages and maybe he overslept. As we got closer to the school we noticed a surprising lack of other people approaching the school. A fireman walking a dog (how odd!) stopped us to say that school had been canceled due to the outages and downed trees. As we rode back home slowly, I knew that everyone else knew.

Sure enough, right there on the school’s web site, “School Closed”. I had given them my email address with the girls’ enrollment paperwork, but we got no email notification. I think I’ve looked at every page on their worthless site and there appears to be no way to sign up for such notifications. A local TV station, however, provides such a service and now we’re on the list.

I hate being the new guy.

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Fully Loaded Turing

I got kinda bored.

Posted in Bicycle, Computers | 2 Comments

Dear Tour day Frantz,

After last year’s snoozer, I opted out of watching this year’s big pharmacology exhibit only to find out later on that it was pretty good, and apparently clean.  Kudos to you for that.  Still, it’s 3 weeks of lycra, carbon fiber and the best roads France’s road crews can muster.  I have some suggestions to make it more funner for us Ugly Americanos.

1.  Time trials.  Ditch all but one of them.  (For the record, the TTT is the worst of the bunch.  Nobody watches that crap.)  The one you keep should be a repeat of the Giro.  Uphill.  On gravel.

2.  Replace the dearly departed time trials with 2 stages that make the racers uncomfortable.  A fixed-gear cyclocross stage and maybe a crit on cheap 3-speed city bikes, for example.

3.  Racers must fix their own flats and carry the tools and parts to do so.  This includes a spare sew-up or tube (for those smart enough realize that tubulars are obb-sew-leet) and a frame pump.  No mini-pumps or CO2.  This ensures that racers do an occasional upper body workout.

4.  No team cars following the peloton.  Outside support can only be provided at designated controls.

5.  The broom wagon travels at a designated speed and does not stop.  If a racer gets passed by the broom wagon, he’s out.  There are no exceptions to this rule.  Keep this in mind whilst contemplating rules number 3 and 4.

6.  At least one stage must be the “doping” stage.  They don’t get to take whatever they want.  Rather, several different drug cocktails are randomly distributed in a double blind fashion.  During the stage, spectators place bets on who took what.  The stage winner is allowed to take whatever he wants in the next stage.  Everyone else has to pee in a cup so that the bets can be decided.

7.  Devil take the hindmost.  Regardless how many were caught by the broom wagon or fell off a cliff, the very last finisher is out.  This ensures that the stage losers sprint like hell, too.

Anyway, if you need any further assistance implementing these changes, the WWE should be able to provide a consultant.

Sincerely,

the Sloth

Posted in Bicycle | 1 Comment

Weight weenie

I am not a weight weenie. Never have been. If you’ve seen my bikes you might think my goal is to make them as heavy as possible. Racks, lights, fat tires, steel handlebars, GPS, panniers, saddle bags, frame pumps, 3 bottle cages, sprung saddles, steel fenders. Speed mo-sheen.

A few months ago I purchased a gently used Surly Pacer frame set and built it up a la English club bike. Down tube shifters, Nitto B115 bars, road gears, skinny tires and mudguards. This is not my typical bike build. I’ve actually argued against this sort of bike for practical purposes. But man, was it fun to ride!

That bike is currently undergoing a rather painful 650b conversion. (If you’ve never done a 650b conversion, and someone tells you that your frame is a good candidate, please understand that there are several definitions of “good”. In most 650b conversion cases “good” means that you can probably make it work if you hold your mouth right and wave a dead chicken over it.)

And this leaves me with most of the parts that used to make the Pacer fast and fun. What to do, what to do?

Road bike!

Specifically, a 1999 Schwinn Peloton, purchased a couple years ago from the Pedal Pusher in Harrisburg. These were among the last of pre-Pacific Schwinns. The Peloton has a few things in common with its big brother, the Paramount. The Paramount frames from 1998 through 2000 (or was it 2001) were designed and brazed at Match Cycles with 853 steel and hand-filed lugs. The Peloton used the same steel, the same geometry, the same curved stays, but was TIGged in Taiwan. Paramount-lite. This is a good, good frame (for more conventional definitions of “good”). I’ve built it up as a traditional road racing bike and will document the whole thing later, but right now I’m weighing saddles.

WTF are you smoking, Loveless?

In an effort to not spend money (Hi, Christie) I’ve decided to simply use the parts I have on hand. There were two saddles in the bin that aren’t completely inappropriate – a WTB Speed V and the infamous Velo Plush. The WTB set me back $10 from the take-off bin at the LBS a couple years ago. The Velo Plush came with the Long Haul Trucker. No one really ever understood why Surly spec’d this hatchet on a touring bike, but they did for a few years. Most people regarded it as a test ride saddle and swapped it for something functional before the bike ever left the shop. According to my opinion, it’s not that bad, so long as you don’t need to ride farther than 5 or 10 miles. But it’s skinny and light and looks like it belongs on a road bike, so that’s where it went.

From Instant Upload

See that? 345 grams. Not too terribly heavy for a cheapie take-off. But not too terribly comfy, either. After last night’s inaugural test ride the committee decided, unanimously, to find something else. Anything else. Please don’t make us sit on that damn thing any more. Ever. This morning I dug out the Speed V.

The Speed V is a “recreational” saddle. It has a plastic base, steel rails, gel something-or-other padding and a stitched leather cover. It’s actually not that bad. I’ve ridden 30 or 40 miles on it in one go without major discomfort. It’s wider, thicker and longer than the Velo Plush. It wasn’t my first choice because it was obviously heavier and road bikes need skinny and light. Compare.

From Instant Upload
From Instant Upload
From Instant Upload

See? Bigger, thicker, obeser. Right.

From Instant Upload

Scroll back up and look at the photo of the Plush on the scale.

Back to weight weenie-ism. From the urban dictionary.

1. weight weenie Road Bicycle enthusiast who becomes obsessed with subtracting weight from his bicycle at all costs, including overriding safety concerns and practicality. A Weight Weenie will always replace a 100 gram component with a 99 gram component regardless of all other factors, including cost, durability, and overall design and functionality. Materials that are commonly used in the pursuit of lightness include: aluminum, carbon fiber, composites, and titanium.

I am not a weight weenie. But when the chosen saddle is thicker, wider, longer (there’s some innuendo for you), more comfy and lighter, why not use it and revel in the fact that I shaved 15 grams from my road bike?

15 grams! And it didn’t cost me a dime. Take that, roadies.

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Damn fool idealism

9am. The weather report said partly cloudy. Maybe a spot thunder shower after lunch. The only smart thing I bothered to do was pack a rain shell. 15 miles of mostly gravel on the agenda and I rolled out. It was partly cloudy.

The rain started by the third mile. I stopped to put on my jacket at 3.5. By the fifth mile it was coming down sideways and the thunder seemed to precede the lightning. I stopped in Greenway, AR at a service station that hasn’t operated since gas was $1.22. The roof was fairly sieve-like, but the awning covering the old pump island kept me and the bike out of the worst of it.

Fat lot of good this did me.

When the rain let up from “deluge” to “steady downpour” I tried to head into town. The way was shut.

It was parked there and I had to go around. Finding shelter was hit or miss, and I didn’t take any more photos. My phone isn’t waterproof and I didn’t think to bring the Megan’s WS80. Instead of the 15 or so miles I had originally planned, I decided to cut it a bit short and finished up along the same path I took yesterday. Here’s the track.

The soil around here is quite sandy, and so are the gravel roads. When it’s wet it sticks to just about everything. This is why the Nishiki should have had fenders long before we got here. The last mile or so on wet pavement was a pretty good application of Jobst Brandt’s chain cleaning method, though.

Peace, love and put some fenders on your bike.

Posted in Bicycle | 3 Comments

Arkansas Gravel!

Well, I’ve been in Arkansas for 3 days and just got around to going for a ride.  It’s hot and I, being a first class nincompoop, waited until mid-afternoon to get started, so I kept it short.  About 7 miles.

Aside from State Forest roads, there’s just not a whole lot of gravel in PA.  Pretty much all of the county roads around here are gravel.  Today’s ride incorporated about 3 miles of the stuff.  What a fine test of the Col de la Vie tires!  They passed, for what that’s worth. More on that later.

From Arkansas

Some cows staying cool in a pond. They are, obviously, smarter than me.

From Arkansas

Horsie!

From Arkansas

Since I failed to take the requisite “bike leaning against a tree along a gravel road” shot, here she is leaning against the house after I got back.

From Drop Box

The 650b tires are really quite nice. They’re not the fluffy clouds of heavenly, marshmallowy, Rivendellian perfection that some folks claim, but they do seem to have a nice all-rounder quality to them. They felt slower on pavement than the 700c tires I have on a couple bikes, but there are too many other variables to definitely blame the tires. They most certainly handled the gravel better than 700×37 Contacts or 700×25 Compressors, but not quite as nicely as 1.95 knobbies. Shock absorption was significantly better than most of my other tires.  Get some today!  Be the envy of all your friends!

Peace, love and go ride a bike. But wait until it cools off out there.

Posted in Bicycle, GPS | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

30 years

In 1981 Micro-Soft introduced MS-DOS, their Disk Operating System or some such. With it a computer user could boot a PC or clone with an 8086 or 8088 microprocessor. Three of the (probably) most used commands that any kid who had ever sat down at one knew were DIR, CD and RENAME. DIR returned a list of files and directories residing in the current directory. CD stood for “change directory” and did exactly what its name implied. RENAME renames files. Pretty simple.

A GPX file is a file that contains XML-like markup. It’s plain old text, but formatted in a way that your GPS device or mapping software understands. For example, a file that contains directions from here to there might be named heretothere.gpx.

A few days ago I ran a script that turned a Google Maps route into some GPX markup, which I then copied and pasted into Notepad. Finally, I saved it. The little save dialog had automagically assigned a “.txt” extension in the file name box. Since I wanted a GPX file, and not TXT, I simply backspaced over it and gave it the name heretothere.gpx.

A quick transfer over USB to the GPS device quickly proved that my GPX file wasn’t really a GPX file. A cursory glance at the properties window for the file showed that Windows still saw it as a TXT file. Clicking the Advanced tab showed the file’s real name – heretothere.gpx.txt. WTF? Unsurprisingly, Windows 7 provides no means to alter this within the properties window. XP allowed this, but I could see no way to do it with 7.

I am still 100% convinced that I’ve missed something obvious, but I’m simply unwilling to go looking for it. I’m a user these days. I used to like to tinker with this stuff, but not anymore. After 16 plus years of using some sort of GUI, I’d like to think I’m capable of doing simple tasks with my computer without having to relearn how every time MS decides to pretend it’s releasing something new.

From the Start menu, I selected a command prompt. CD to the appropriate directory. DIR shows me heretothere.gpx.txt. RENAME heretothere.gpx.txt heretothere.gpx. DIR confirms the rename command was successful. Exit. Transfered the file to the GPS device again. I went about my merry way from here to there.

Welcome to 2011.  When a 30 year old command line is the way to get shit done.

Posted in Computers, GPS, Microsoft BOB | Tagged , , , | 5 Comments

Membership dues

It seems there’s a new bike club in town.  It’s the Tarik Saleh Bike Club!  A few of us out here in the mid-Atlantic are already members.  The rules are easy peasy.

  1. Ride bikes.
  2. Try not to be an ass.

You should join, too.  I hope this guy sees this photo and realizes how much cooler I am than he.

I think I just violated rule #2.

Posted in Bicycle, Bloggity, Cycling Blogs, Oddities | 2 Comments

How far?

Yesterday, Christie and one of the troop’s co-leaders asked me if I’d go camping with the Girl Scouts this Spring.  There’s a wall tent with cots for the Dads to share, so I wouldn’t need to bring a tent.  ”Cool,” I said.  ”Maybe I’ll ride the bike.”
“Um, it’s out in the sticks,” says they.
“I know,” says me.  ”That’s the point.  New roads, new scenery, it’ll be a fun ride.  How far is it?”
“It’s really far.”
“How far?”
“And there are at least two mountains you’d have to climb.”
“How far is it?”
Christie continues to protest.  ”It takes over an hour to get there.”
“How.  Many.  Miles?”
“I don’t know.”  She looks at me like I’m retarded.  I can’t blame her.  She’s bailed me out before when I got too big for my chain ring.  The last thing she’ll want to do is rescue the wheezing fat guy and his bike from some Jeep trail when she’s trying to get her troop of Brownies to camp.  This conversation is rapidly approaching over.
“Would you please send me the address?”

It’s 30 miles away.  About 2000 feet of climbing.  I can do this.  But that’s not the point.  The point is I tried to get directions from my lovely wife that would apply to riding a bike.  She doesn’t really ride a bike much, and I shouldn’t expect her to automatically say something like, “It’s 30.3 miles if you take the fire road through the State Forest, but that adds another 500 feet.  If you go around the mountain it’s an extra 5 miles, but there’s no climbing and the Mom and Pop store on back road #7472273 pulls a really mean vanilla Coke.”

It’s all about perspective, I suppose.  Ken Kifer wrote about this.  A motorist doesn’t notice the little roads that turn off the main artery because he doesn’t care.  The big, fast highway is the best way to get the big, fast SUV from point A to B.  If  there’s anything in between that doesn’t sell gasoline, it’s quite possibly irrelevant.

On the other hand, the big, fast highway isn’t very suitable for cycling.  Or, at the very least, it’s not very comfortable for cycling.  Back roads with little traffic, little “gas stations” that haven’t sold gas in a decade, and lots of scenery are just what we need.  For those of us who live in town, these places are often more than a few miles away.  Which leads me to my point.

“Any distance is biking distance.” –Kent Peterson

The people around me sure have had some good reasons to doubt my ambitions.  Maybe if I live those 5 words I’ll give them a reason not to.

Posted in Bicycle, Fat ass, Wife | 5 Comments

The MB-2, reborn

I’m channeling Grant Petersen and Charlie Cunningham at the same time.  On the same bike.

Not long ago I found a 1987 Bridgestone MB-2, 58cm (just my size!).  It was in a pile of other cast-off bicycle frames, undoubtedly put there because its previous owner didn’t want to deal with the roller-cam brake under the chain stays.  The original front cantilever and rear roller-cam (sans cam) were both intact, and the fork was held in place with a zip tie from the crown to the down tube, and all the other parts missing-in-action.  Gray and black and calling my name.  I had forgotten Christie’s rule about bringing home more bikes.

Once home I went to work assessing what she needed and what I had.  The stock specifications were compared to pictures of Jacquie Phelan riding Otto and the gaps were filled with parts I thought I could sneak in under the radar.

The handlebars were described in a previous blog entry.  They’re now appointed with old Dia-compe levers, Suntour bar end shifters and blue tape.

The wheels were cast-off cheapies, probably the same age as the frame.  They’re shod with new Kenda knobbies and a 14-28 freewheel.  Alpha-5000 derailers guide the chain.

The Suntour XC Expert cranks came from a fellow iBOB and the MKS Sylvan Track pedals from a dumpster bike.

I gave up on the roller-cam brake and installed a U-brake from Tektro.  It works surprisingly well, providing not only plenty of modulation, but also the ability to lock up the rear wheel.

Top it off with a WTB saddle.

She and I went for an inaugural ride yesterday through mud, water, ice and slush.

I think I’ll keep her.

Posted in Bicycle, GP, Wrenching | 7 Comments