Double-boinger blubber bikes

The rumors started yesterday.  Salsa’s working on a double-suspension fat bike.  “Oh, goody,” thought I.  “Sheldon Brown’s not dead and it’s April 1st.  This is awesome on so many levels!”  As it turns out, I was only dreaming about waking from a bad dream.  Affix your dull stare here.  Seriously, how much squishy can one cyclist need?  A lot, apparently.  The cycloblogosphere is full of “OMG! Shiny!” today.

On a more serious note, I’ve always been a proponent of strong property rights.  In other words, it’s your money and you can spend it however you want.  However, HOWEVER, I do reserve full rights to point and laugh.

Maybe this will hit the market one day and someone will mount a Brooks B135 on it with a Thudbuster.  It’s only fitting.

Posted in Uncategorized | 5 Comments

Learning to Write from a TV Set

I sought him out because he had studied with John Gardner at SIU Carbondale.  He made us watch film adaptations of the shitty short stories they made me pretend to read in high school.  For three class meetings I stared at a television as he sat there and thumbed through his signed copy of “The Art of Fiction”.  There was no fourth, not for me.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Tried and liked…

Per the annual iBOB tradition, here’s my list of stuff I tried and liked during 2011.

  1. Warren Zevon.  OK, not really.  I’ve been a fan for years and years, but was only familiar with the regular radio stuff.  Over the last year I really dug in and digested everything I could get my hands on.  Good stuff.  Enjoy yer sammiches, folks.
  2. Road bikes.  I snagged a too big Peloton frame a few years ago and a Pacer last year, but only managed to build them up this year.  Lightweight tubes are nice.  Climbing in high gears is fun and something I never could do well on the MTBs and the Trucker.  Road bikes are super fun!  But the harsh ride of skinny tires combined with my fat butt led me to -
  3. 650b.  I’m all in on this one, so even if I didn’t like it I wouldn’t admit it.  Bought the wheels, tried converting two old bikes, bought a 650b-specific bike.  I’m currently running Col de la Vie tires, but hope to try some Hetres or Pari-Motos soon.
  4. Rawland rSogn.  This is my 650b all-rounder.  It’s a low-trail bike with clearance for  9.00/28/5-15 dragster tires.  Well, maybe not quite that wide, but definitely the fattest 650b tires currently available.  The rSogn was intended to replace both the Trucker and the road bike, and it looks like it will do just that quite nicely.  The only problem with the rSogn is that it has braze-ons all over the place and I’m not sure what to attach to them.  I’m paranoid about stuff like that.
  5. Bontrager Ion 2 headlight.  This is a AAA clip-on light which I purchased to replace a water-logged EL520.  It’s a surprisingly good light and I’ve recommended it to several people.  It has 3 modes – high, low and seizure.  The high beam is suitable for city streets and is a good “be seen” light for going slow on unlighted roads.  The low beam is good for when you don’t have any spare batteries and you’re two hours from home.  The flash mode is good for clicking past when you need to shut off the light.  Battery life is better than expected.  Overall, it’s a pretty good inexpensive battery light.

…and didn’t. No “tried and liked” list is complete without the equally opposite.

  1. Fat bikes.  Now, to be completely honest, I’m not one to blindly follow the crowd.  (But Sloth, fat bikes are a niche product!)  The evil LBS had one in stock.  I tried real hard to find the coolio in it, but all I could muster was a sigh and a head shake.  I know all the other bike bloggers are wetting their pants over the new Pugluklanders, and I’ll probably rub some of them the wrong way, but as best I can tell fat bikes are kinda like Kim Kardashian.
Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments

Selling off the fleet

I’m not sure if I’ve ever tried to sell anything with my blog, but I need to move some bikey bits in order to purchase shiny racks and fenders for the rSogn buy my kids some Christmas presents.

First up is my 60cm Surly Pacer frame set. Two hundred worthless Americanos. $185, and I’m not going any lower.  It includes a Cane Creek S-3 headset and a Surly Constrictor seat post clamp.  The seat post and cable hanger aren’t included, but I have one without the barrel adjust that I can throw in if you need it.

From For Sale

THE PELOTON IS SOLD.

62cm Schwinn Peloton, circa 1999. This is kind of a neat frame, in that it’s the TIG-welded version of the Match Paramount. Same 853 tubing, same geometry, same paint scheme, same curvy stays. This is a neato bike that rides
really well, but it’s a bit too big for me. Don’t let that 62cm thing fool you, though. Schwinn measured their frames from the center of the bottom bracket to the very top of the seat tube.  The seat tube is really the same length as the 60cm Pacer’s.  The top tube is 1cm longer.  It includes a Velo-Orange head set, a generic seat post clamp and 2 27.0mm seat posts.  I also have several quill stems.  Tell me what you need and I’ll send something along that’s close.  You’ll need a front derailer with a 31.8mm clamp.  $100 takes it.

From For Sale

THE BRAKES ARE SOLD, TOO.

I also have a nice set of 105 calipers. They’re lightly used and look pretty darn nice.  These will work with either the Pacer or the Peloton.  $30.

From For Sale

There are lots more photos here.

I’m willing to entertain reasonable offers and will ship to your Paypal verified address.  Feel free to ask questions.

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

A few notes about my S24O kit

For those of you who still don’t know, S24O means “sub-24-hour overnight”.  It’s bike camping.  Dig out your old hiking gear, lash it to your bike, ride a couple hours, camp, come home.  Do it in less than 24 hours.  It’s a nice substitute for touring if you have kids.  Or bills.  Or a job.  Or kids and bills and a job.

Quite a bit has been written about S24O within the last few years.  Here are a few links if you’d like to read a bit more.

The Adventure Cycling interview with GP.
Rivendell’s articles about traveling by bike.
Bikepacking is the MTB crowd’s way of doing it.  There’s some good info about creative ways to attach things to your bike.

Plug it into Google.  You’ll find lots more.

Right now I’d like to lay out what I typically bring along and how well it has worked so far.  The most recent trip’s kit, over Running Gap, looked like this when packed on the bike.

I’ll move from left to right.

I use two Lone Peak P-099 Sundance panniers.  They’re about the same size as an Ortlieb Front Roller, but not waterproof.  Lone Peak bags are made in the US of, what appears to be, heavy duty Cordura nylon and tough-as-nails zippers.  The locking system is damn near fool-proof and super easy to use.  The hooks come in 2 sizes.  Blackburn racks and copies need the smaller hooks and modern racks, like Surly’s Nice Rack or anything from Tubus, take the larger hooks.  Be sure to tell your retailer which ones you need.  I like these bags a lot and won’t hesitate to recommend them to anyone.

Moving on to the stuff in the panniers.

My cook kit consists of a grease pot with lid, homemade windscreen, aluminum pot gripper and Esbit stove  The grease pot is light, holds the rest of the kit and is cheap.  It holds about a quart of water, which is more than I ever need to boil.  I made the windscreen out of a turkey basting pan from the grocery store.  The pot gripper is the standard cheap one that can be found in Wally-Mart’s camping aisle.

The Esbit stove is the heart of the system.  It’s about the same size as a deck of cards and can hold 4 fuel tablets when folded.  One tablet will bring 2 cups of water to a boil faster than any alcohol stove I’ve ever seen, and burns long enough to make a cup of coffee and a pack of Ramen if you’re quick with the pouring.  For an overnight or long weekends the Esbit is superb.  The fuel is easy to light and burns in any weather.  It can even be used as a fire starter if your fire building skills are as bad as mine.  But perhaps it’s not the best solution for extended travel, as the fuel is rarely available at Bubba’s Gas ‘n Git.  Fortunately, this is my S24O kit.

I also keep my sleeping bag up front.  It’s a Lafuma Warm ‘n Lite 600 down bag, rated to 40F, which packs down to the size of a small canteloupe.  So far, in the 4 or 5 times I’ve used it, the overnight temperature has invariably dropped below 40F.  It’s not warm enough to sleep in shorts and t-shirt at 40F.  The last trip’s low of 24F was a bit too cold.  I ended up sleeping in every piece of clothing I had with me.  Two layers top and bottom, two pair of socks, a fleece pull-over wrapped around my feet and a fleece stocking cap on my head.  I stayed warm enough, but the bag felt cramped.  It’s not particularly roomy to begin with, but my large frame covered in multiple layers left very little wiggle room.  This isn’t a bad bag, but it’s definitely for warm weather.  I’m currently considering a Big Agnes system for every season except summer.

The remainder of the front pannier space was taken by spare clothing, food, toiletries, wallet and keys, and a few random small bits.

Moving right.  There are 3 water bottles in the cages.  These are 16oz Kleen Kanteens.  They’re water bottles.  Not much to say, other than I do prefer the stainless steel to plastic.

On to the rear rack.  Perched atop the rear-mounted front rack is a Minnehaha Medium saddle bag.  It’s just big enough for a tool kit, patch kit, spare tube and my Thermarest Prolite 4.  I got the saddle bag on sale.  It’s not a bad bag, but it’s also not worth the current retail price, ATMO.  A big online retailer blew these out last year for $25.  I wouldn’t pay more than that for one today.  Pros – it’s durable, looks pretty good, and has some steel d-ring lash points on the flap.  Cons – the buckles are in an awkward spot unless you routinely stand on your head, there are no provisions for attaching a light, and it’s medium-ness is either too big or too small and never just right.  For the purposes of S24O, it’s too small.

The Prolite 4 was Thermarest’s top of the line self-inflating mattress for a long time.  It’s discontinued, but they replaced it with a similar product that is supposed to have even better insulation.  Pros – it’s durable, easy to inflate and provides excellent ground insulation.  24F on mud was no match for it.  The Prolite does exactly what it’s supposed to do.  Cons – it’s not thick enough for my fat butt.  This is more my fault than the pad’s.  I can’t sleep on my back.  Drunk, drugged and exhausted, I’d lay there wide awake if I couldn’t roll onto my side.  This does not complement a thin, firm pad.  My arm and shoulder will go to sleep, which wakes me up.  Then I have to roll over.  I’ll do that a dozen or so times over the course of the night.  I simply need more cushioning.  If I could sleep on my back the Prolite would be perfect.

Lashed to the back of the saddle bag are my tent, pillow and rain jacket.  The tent is a Eureka! Spitfire.  I purchased the tent mostly because it was on sale and met my needs (on paper).  This tent is frustrating.  It’s not difficult to set up, but I have to make about 4 circles around the damn thing in the process.  The included stakes are those crappy aluminum rods that bend if you look at them harshly.  The vestibules are tiny and the right side is not accessible from inside the tent.  I have just enough room for my shoes on the left.  On the plus side, it’s well made and waterproof.  The ventilation system works well.  My Prolite pad fits perfectly on the bathtub floor and is slightly wedged at the corners, which means the pad doesn’t move around.  It’s also light – about 3 pounds.  I’ll keep it for now, but when the time comes for a new one I’ll probably shop around.

I also can’t sleep without a pillow, so I brought a small throw wrapped in an ancient pillow case.  Cramming my clothing into a stuff sack is never very comfortable, and on the last trip would have been impossible since I was wearing all of it.

My rain shell is an O2 Rainshield.  It’s a slight step up from Tyvek and costs about $25.  My first one lasted two and half years, including daily use as a wind shell for two winters.  It’s light, packs small and adds to the visibility factor.  On the other hand, the front zipper is the only means of ventilation.  I’ve not found this to be a problem, but I know some folks prefer pit and back vents.  For the money it can’t be beat.

I think that just about covers it, though I’ve probably forgotten something important.  Feel free to ask questions.

Next time, I’ll detail the new rSogn and discuss why I sold the Trucker.

Posted in Bicycle, GP, S24O | 5 Comments

Expedition to Running Gap

Whereupon we climbed high mountains, exhausted our daylight, froze nearly to death, lost our maps, and rescued a fair maiden

I hereby offer my testimony of our harrowing expedition.  The account is truthful to the best of my abilities.  My companion’s account is here, though I fear the cold has caused him permanent harm as his details are askew.

Having heard the tales of several previous failed expeditions to cross Running Gap the Pass of Caradhras, and the camp sites treasures that lie there waiting for those with a free weekend brave enough to attempt it, Bone and I set upon the task of conquering the foul summit.

From rSogn

Just after noon on the 5th day of November, in the year 2011, we departed upon Velocipedes into the rugged foothills of the Nittany Mountains, leaving behind all traces of civilization and any hope of rescue should we fail in our quest.  For hours we slogged through muddy tracks and over impossibly steep hills, encountering no other living thing except the trees.  Upon the crest of one hill we did discover the half-eaten corpses of two deer, no doubt caught and slain by the hideous Nittany lion.  We agreed to proceed as quietly as possible from this point.

We did eventually find our way to the foot of the Nittany Mountain and proceeded upwards.  It was so steep and rugged that we were forced to push our machines.  Our hopes of finding a suitable camp site before dusk were shattered by the sheer palisade on one side and a precipitous drop on the other.  As onward and upward we pushed the wind grew to ferocious gusts, colder and colder, and the sky darkened.  Just before the sun set we met two hunters grizzled rangers descending the mountain.  They had seen no deer and wondered if we had spotted any attempted to cross the pass, but were out of time defeated.  They joked that we should be riding our bikes instead of walking. Their speech was incomprehensible and the look of fear in their eyes was unmistakable.  We could barely understand their gibberish.  They implored us to turn back, but we refused and continued on our way.

We did reach the summit that night, but found no shelter from the freezing gale and decided to go down the other side.  The descent was exhilarating, fast and smooth fraught with rock slides covering the track and slick mud between them.  What a ride! We nearly toppled into the ravine more than once.  Some time after midnight we stumbled into a small clearing.  What dead wood we could find was waterlogged and would not burn.  After a filling dinner of beans and rice and Pad Thai we shot the shit a bit and decided that not bringing some whiskey was a stupid thing to do. We discovered, much to our horror, that most of our provisions had shaken loose and were undoubtedly lost on the pass.

The night passed slowly and the temperature continued to fall until just before sunrise.  The sun was a welcome sight as I had lost all feeling in my fingers and toes.  Bone fared no better.  Our map showed a stream nearby so we filled our bottles, but what we found was a dry creek bed.  The only water to be had was brackish and we reluctantly did without.  After breaking camp, we rolled out on a road that descended farther into the valley.  It was smooth and fast and should have taken us closer to home and recognizable landmarks.  We believed at the time that we had conquered the pass with little loss.  Some time later Bone looked down to check our speed on his GPS, but it had fallen off its mount we noticed that the landmarks were unfamiliar, so we stopped to check the map again.  Alas!  Though we thought the road smooth, the map had come loose and we were lost.  We were forced to proceed by guesswork alone.

We called Bone’s sister and her husband to come get us. Near mid-day we came across a young lass who’s husband had been slain by the Nittany Lion.  She had fled on foot through the forest to get away and was now more lost than we.  She needed our help and we could not refuse.  We attempted to locate her husband’s body, but the terrible beast kept us from it.  They dropped us off at the car and went to look for the GPS. Fearing for our own lives, we said a prayer for the departed and moved on.

They found the GPS in short order and met us before we went to Ard’s for lunch. Eventually, we came across an inn wherein we ate our first meal since crossing the pass.  The lady in our charge kissed us both and thanked us, and offered a small sum to a passing priest if he would bless our Velocipedes for the trip home.  The innkeeper showed us his map and told us which way to go and then we were home, the blessing having worked, before dusk.

Posted in Bicycle, S24O | 6 Comments

Coffee and Fenders

I met up with Johnny Trashbike this morning at the local Starbucks. We traded bike bits for coffee. He’s got some work ahead of him mounting said bits on his Nishiki. I’m working on a caffeine high from some freshly ground beans. Maybe he’ll post a photo or two when he’s done. I’m not shaking enough yet. Gotta get back to the coffee.

Posted in Bicycle, Cycling Blogs | 5 Comments

The way is shut

First day of school today. We rolled out right on time, no issues. When we got to the first intersection where there should be a crossing guard, there was no crossing guard. I thought this was strange, but chalked it up to the power outages and maybe he overslept. As we got closer to the school we noticed a surprising lack of other people approaching the school. A fireman walking a dog (how odd!) stopped us to say that school had been canceled due to the outages and downed trees. As we rode back home slowly, I knew that everyone else knew.

Sure enough, right there on the school’s web site, “School Closed”. I had given them my email address with the girls’ enrollment paperwork, but we got no email notification. I think I’ve looked at every page on their worthless site and there appears to be no way to sign up for such notifications. A local TV station, however, provides such a service and now we’re on the list.

I hate being the new guy.

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Fully Loaded Turing

I got kinda bored.

Posted in Bicycle, Computers | 2 Comments

Dear Tour day Frantz,

After last year’s snoozer, I opted out of watching this year’s big pharmacology exhibit only to find out later on that it was pretty good, and apparently clean.  Kudos to you for that.  Still, it’s 3 weeks of lycra, carbon fiber and the best roads France’s road crews can muster.  I have some suggestions to make it more funner for us Ugly Americanos.

1.  Time trials.  Ditch all but one of them.  (For the record, the TTT is the worst of the bunch.  Nobody watches that crap.)  The one you keep should be a repeat of the Giro.  Uphill.  On gravel.

2.  Replace the dearly departed time trials with 2 stages that make the racers uncomfortable.  A fixed-gear cyclocross stage and maybe a crit on cheap 3-speed city bikes, for example.

3.  Racers must fix their own flats and carry the tools and parts to do so.  This includes a spare sew-up or tube (for those smart enough realize that tubulars are obb-sew-leet) and a frame pump.  No mini-pumps or CO2.  This ensures that racers do an occasional upper body workout.

4.  No team cars following the peloton.  Outside support can only be provided at designated controls.

5.  The broom wagon travels at a designated speed and does not stop.  If a racer gets passed by the broom wagon, he’s out.  There are no exceptions to this rule.  Keep this in mind whilst contemplating rules number 3 and 4.

6.  At least one stage must be the “doping” stage.  They don’t get to take whatever they want.  Rather, several different drug cocktails are randomly distributed in a double blind fashion.  During the stage, spectators place bets on who took what.  The stage winner is allowed to take whatever he wants in the next stage.  Everyone else has to pee in a cup so that the bets can be decided.

7.  Devil take the hindmost.  Regardless how many were caught by the broom wagon or fell off a cliff, the very last finisher is out.  This ensures that the stage losers sprint like hell, too.

Anyway, if you need any further assistance implementing these changes, the WWE should be able to provide a consultant.

Sincerely,

the Sloth

Posted in Bicycle | 1 Comment